“That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world:” (Ephesians 2:12)
This is how I was, “without hope in this world.”
In 1970 I was 18 years old. I had dropped out of high school twice and had no future worth living for that I could see. Drugs, alcohol, and other things that I had done made me feel really guilty and when I walked down the street I felt like other people knew what I had done. (God's Spirit was convicting me, but I had no idea what was happening at the time) I had come close to committing suicide a couple of times, but was too scared of the unknown beyond death. I knew there would be no turning back once I killed myself.
One day my mother was doing something I had never seen her do before. She was watching and listening to Billy Graham on the TV. I don't remember ever hearing about him before. Normally I wouldn't have watched something “boring” like a TV preacher, but this day I did and it changed my whole outlook on life! For the first time in my life I realized that Jesus is real and that He's going to return to this earth again some day! I also realized for the first time that I could have a change in my heart so that I would know that if I died, or when Jesus returns that I would be ready to meet Him! WOW! It was the brightest day of my life! I was given hope that no one could take from me!
Although I had this knowledge, I was not “saved” yet. The Bible says “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:” (Romans 8:16). I needed to know that my sins were forgiven, and I knew that just “accepting Christ” was not enough. I had sinful habits that I could not stop on my own. In the Bible it tells about Jesus changing peoples lives so that they don't do the sinful things they used to do. That's what I wanted, that's what I needed!
Having a religious background, I knew about prayer. So I would lock myself in my bedroom for hours and day after day I would be on my knees reciting the memorized prayers that I had learned as a child. In my heart I was in deep earnest to God. I wanted to know I was ready to meet God in peace. I was praying from my heart, not just in my head. My parents were not Christians although my mother had been raised in the same church as I was. They may have thought I was acting a little weird, staying in my room reading a Bible and praying day & night, but I wasn't concerned about what others thought about this.
The church that I was brought up in as a child teaches that you should confess your sins to a priest. I can still remember going to one of our local churches and I'm sure I told “everything” I could think of to the priest. He told me what prayers to pray and then I walked out to the pew, knelt and prayed those prayers expecting something to happen. Well, nothing happened, but I knew I had followed the instructions of that organization, so this was just another example to me showing me that this church I was raised in was not really helping people get ready to meet God.
On another occasion I had sent a letter to this church with the thought of becoming a “Brother” in the church. When I received an answer from this organization, one of the things I was told was that I would have to give all my things to one of the officials in the church! I don't remember the details now (about 37 years later), but at the time it was like God had showed me that “He” is the One I should honor! Not just some religious person. And along the way I realized that “Jesus” is the only one we should pray to, not Mary or some other “saint.” “For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;” (1 Timothy 2:5) “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)
So, now where do I go for guidance? I kept praying to God and also I began listening to Christian radio programs. Out of many programs one sounded “almost” like the Bible until they asked for money. Jesus had said “freely ye have received, freely give. “ (Matthew 10:8) They had come close, but I wanted “know” I was ready, not “almost.”
I kept on praying and reading the Bible and one day something really wonderful happened! It was almost like the day I'd heard that Jesus is going to return again!
While living at home with my parents in Tacoma, Washington at this time, one of my grandmothers who lived in the Portland, Oregon area, came to visit us. She didn't drive a car, so she came on a train. While at the train station in Portland, she went into the Woman's restroom. Somewhere, perhaps on a counter in that restroom was a Christian paper. Since she knew that I had been reading a Bible and praying for a few months now, perhaps she felt that this paper would help me. I don't know what her reason was. Out of curiosity I wish now that I would have asked her “why” did she bring that paper to me? Maybe I did ask her, but now I've forgotten. None the less, I found out later that God Himself had orchestrated this event!
That same Saturday evening I was invited to go out to dinner with my parents and my grandmother. I refused to go because my heart was set on seeking God. At first I wasn't going to look at this “religious paper” since it looked kind of weird because it had Gothic or Old English type for the header on the front page. I don't know why this bothered me. Earlier, when I had first begun seeking God, I wanted to get the oldest Bible I could find because I thought that it would be more accurate than newer translations. While they were gone that evening I grabbed that paper and my Bible, and sat in the living room comparing page by page what was written in this paper with what the Bible says. I wanted to know if it was authentic! Well guess what? It is! I read testimonies of people living now and of others who have died and gone to be with God. It was just like reading the Bible!
“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and for ever.” (Hebrews 13:8)
You can find the current publication here:
http://www.apostolicfaith.org/Library/HigherWay.aspx
A few days later I walked from 3401 South J Street to 1002 North 4th Street (2.7 miles. I had no car) where the Apostolic Faith Church is located:
I walked to this church during a week day when there was no one there. Fred and Helen Lippert who attended the church lived across the alley from the back of the church building. Helen saw this “long-haired hippie-type” teenager at the back door of the church and thought “It looks like he might be planning to break-into the church!” So, she walked over to where I was and asked me what I wanted. I told her “I want to get saved!” (She told me this just a few years ago now. I had forgotten what I had told her) She must have been elated to hear some young man tell her “I want to get saved!”
“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him may be saved.” (John 3:17)
The one thing that impressed me when I met Helen was, “I know this is a real Christian.” “Ye shall know them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:16)
I could tell by her sweet spirit, her modest appearance, her kind and gentle personality, and the joy and peace that shown through as we talked. She invited me to their home and introduced me to her husband, Fred. He had the same thing! These were “real Christians!”
God, in His faithfulness had led me all these months until I found a people who believe and live like the Bible teaches.
I'm not sure, but I think it was this same day that someone who attended the church there in Tacoma was going to give Fred and Helen a ride to the Seattle church for a service that night. They invited me. Part of me was a little reluctant since these were total strangers inviting me to a church that I had never been in. But, my heart was hungry for the Truth. I just wanted to be ready for when Jesus returns.
“Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not.” (Luke 12:40)
This was all new to me, having been raised in a church that had lots of ceremony and formality. (But no reality) The church service was certainly different than anything I had seen before, but there was nothing contrary to what I felt in my heart or what I'd read in the Bible. There was lots of singing along with an orchestra. There were musicians that played solos, or in groups, and vocal numbers were performed like this also. All very encouraging for someone who had been searching so earnestly for several months!
Here's the Seattle church location:
After the minister gave a sermon (I don't remember who preached), there was an altar call for everyone to come to the altar (wooden bench where others will pray with you and encourage you) and talk with God. The church I attended as a child was not like this at all! Here in this church, it seemed to me that most of the people there were praying out loud. I was not used to this at all, but in my heart (or spirit) I knew that this was a good place to be.
After this as I attended church services I would go to the altar after the meeting and pray with all my heart and God's sweet Spirit would bless me and tears would flow, but I had a very difficult time believing that He would forgive me all the sin that was in my heart. (notice I used the word “was”) Time after time this would happen. Then, in Tacoma at the altar after a church service one Sunday Morning God wonderfully saved me! What I mean by wonderfully was not only the fact that His Spirit touched my heart and gave me the witness that my sins were forgiven, but I had a very glorious experience! Like I've heard some other Christians testify that they felt like they were floating on air, so did I! In my past I had taken drugs, smoked pot, etc. and know what all that feels like. There's nothing in this world that can come close to the GLORY that God can put in your heart! This experience went on for at least an hour or so. I remember going to the Maxwell's house afterward and trying to tell them what I felt. (Note: Not everyone "feels" the experiences God gives in the same way. I've heard people say they were expecting something really big to happen, like "bells and whistles" so to speak. You may not feel much, but you will know when God's Spirit witness's to you that He accepts your repentant heart and your faith in Him! Don't worry about it, just seek God in prayer and read your Bible and ask Him to lead you. He will.) After you know your sins are forgiven, just keep seeking God every day and ask Him to guide you in the way He wants you to go. He's got a wonderfully adventurous life for you!
“Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable, and full of glory:”(1Peter 1:8)
Since that time (around 1970), I have found that God does not change. He's very faithful, merciful, patient, kind, loving beyond anything any human can understand! I wish I could say, like I've heard lots of other Christians say, that “God kept me saved with victory over sin all these years.” I know that God can keep us living a holy life in this present world. But, through discouragement I had turned away from God and went back into sin. I know how it feels to be a backslider more than once over the years. But, Thank God! He never changes! I thank Him that His Spirit drew me back to himself through hard things that came into my life when I was in sin. I began praying in earnest and would read promises in the Bible that God will forgive us if we turn from our sins and seek His face with all our heart.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
"For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance." (Romans 11:29)
"The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." (2Peter 3:9)
“ Now to Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” (Ephesians 3:20)
All through the Bible the theme is that God is calling everyone, everywhere to turn from their sins and He will forgive all our sins, and take away the desire in our heart to sin and put a deep love in our heart towards God and others, "if" we listen to Him and seek Him in the way He has told us in His Holy Word.
Now I have peace, joy, and comfort from a true Friend Who helps me like no other can. He answers prayers in my life and the lives of others every day! I've witnessed this myself. He knows my deepest concerns and has promised to never leave me as long as I follow Him. And I have a very real hope of being with Him in Heaven some day soon!
Here's other Christian testimonies also. Some of these people have gone to be with Jesus and others are still here testifying by their lives that God is real and he's still changing lives!:
Walt Smith "was" an atheist until he met God in a sawmill! I knew him as a friend for several years. He was a very down-to-earth, kind, gentle, "humerous" guy. What a change was made in this man's heart!
You can prove this for yourself! God is waiting to hear from you if you haven't talked with Him yet. He loves you way more than you can understand!
